A gentle reader informed me last week that April is not only National Poetry Month, but also National Distracted Driver Awareness Month, or NDDAM, as we all know it for shirt--er, for short.  It's difficult to type while driving home from McDonald's and eating messy, syrup-covered pancakes.  I guess I shouldn't be doing all three at once--two out of three perhaps.  The more you know...

I had a couple of setbacks last night, and I had planned on spending this post complaining.  But, one, it's spring, the moon is full, Passover has begun, it's Easter (both Christmas and Easter celebrations come from pagan traditions, but, in English at least, Christians didn't even bother to change the name, so I guess it's ok for an atheist to take note of the holiday), and two, I wrote once that "I can't complain" and several times that I shouldn't complain, so it seems rather ungenerous to spend today complaining.

Another reader, having read the post about things not to say to someone living with cancer, asked what I thought people should  say.  Other than the egregious remarks I mentioned, I don't think there are any pre- or proscriptions.  As after someone dies, we all are uncertain about what to say to those left behind; I think we have to assume that no one really knows what to say, that our friends are well-intentioned, and that they will probably stumble a bit.  It is perhaps easier for someone who is religious: "I hope your faith will be a comfort to you" is something that atheists can't say.  "I know you're not religious, but I am and will be praying for you" is a nice thought and stronger than what we atheists can come up with, something like "I'm sending good thoughts (or vibes or something vague) your way." 

The one response that I find baffling is from those who say nothing, especially those who are close enough so that I assume they do know.  I have to assume that they simply find it too awkward and think that not saying anything is the most tactful way and/or safest reaction.  But even if I assume that, somewhere in the back of my mind it feels as if a very important reality of my life is being ignored and that if I bring up some detail related to the cancer, it's as if I'm focusing on the disease and forcing it into the conversation.  So I guess my response to the question is that any comment (well, almost any comment) is for me better than none.